Thursday, November 30, 2006

Are you kidding me?

So I'm standing at the top of a very, very tall tower at Wet & Wild in Orlando, looking down a waterslide that seems to plunge straight down and disappear behind me. I look at the attendant who just smiles and says "You're next". People behind me are murmering with impatience as I glance up and watch the guy next to me get released from "the Rocket", which is even steeper. The floor just dropped out from under him as he screamed like a banshee on his way down. I consider the options. 1) I could pretend to be violently ill and make my way safely down the stairs or 2) I could puff out my chest and ride the slide.

It was over before I realized what happened. I have never been more terrified as I lay there at the bottom hearing my heart thump out of my chest and the attendant somewhere in the distance saying "sir...sir...are you allright?" My legs felt like rubber as I struggled up from the shallow pool and weakly smiled at the crowd. "How was it?" someone asked and I replied "hizmerfladbpxk" and gave a weak thumbs up. I staggered over to the wave pool and plopped down into a lounge chair, exhausted.

After a giant soft pretzel, I composed myself and made for the Lazy River for a calm tube ride. At least that's what I planned. As I was floating along an urge began to well up inside me. I tried to fight it but the craving was undeniable. I stepped out of the Lazy River and threw down my Tube.

Next thing I knew, I was climbing a very, very tall tower.

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